A SOMEWHAT MODEST PROPOSAL (2002)

Polls strongly suggest that most Americans favor abortion rights, but there's great disagreement over how to limit the procedure. While some people believe a woman should have the right to terminate her fetus at any point until birth, others think the operation should be forbidden after a certain term -- the sixth month being one of the most common opinions. But it's far more logical and practical to allow a mother (or father/guardian) to terminate a fetus until adulthood.

Proponents of time limitations propose a wholly illogical viewpoint. How is a fetus more of a human being at six months than at five months and thirty-one days? Of course, depending on the actual fifth month this time will vary. If the fifth month is an April, a fetus will become human a day earlier; if it's a February, it will become human two or three days earlier (depending on leap year.)

Proponents of unrestricted abortions also suffer from logical inconsistencies. They argue a fetus becomes human at birth because only then is it independent of the mother. But how is it independent if it still must be fed, clothed, and sheltered by the mother (or father/guardian)? Until it's an adult it's as dependent for parental support as when it was in the womb. That's why it's a tax deduction.

Until adulthood, fetuses are so subhuman, they're denied basic rights and liberties: they can't vote, drink alcohol, or kill (as a member of the armed forces.) In some states, they can't even visit a comedy club.

By allowing abortion until adulthood, parents will be able to weed out wayward fetuses. The threat alone should be enough to set a fetus on the right course: "Either you clean up your act, young man, or we're taking the clothes hanger to you!" Sure, a few parents may drown their fetuses in bathtubs simply to protect them from Satan. But who are we to judge? After all, morality is relative. The Nazis proved that.